Hamburguesa Mataleón

Just a hundred meters from We Love Burgers, on the trendy “rotatorio de restaurantes” overlooking the Fuente de la Cibeles in Colonia Roma, is the counter-culture burger-joint, Mataleón. It’s the ultra-Bohemian, tattooed, irreverent answer to WLB.

The décor is no décor at all. It’s a disarray, raised to the nth degree. There are about three mismatched tables indoors, plus another two or three in the unlighted dungeon in the back. A few tables out on the sidewalk seat another dozen or so consumers of hamburgers.

Each table is equipped with a coffee can with napkins, knives and forks, and a “strippa Barbie” doll.

The music? As you might expect, no Frank Sinatra, no Paul McCartney and no Ricky Martin. Just classic rap. Eminem “singing” that song where he apologizes to his mama for his prior bad manners. And some classic Tupac (God rest his gunned downed soul.)

I usually complain about this type of place. But strangely, it somehow appealed to some disorganized, irreverent demon inside me. Yes. I sort of liked this quirky joint.

The waitress, wearing a purposely soiled t-shirt, and of course, sporting a few tattoos, offered friendly and attentive service.

They have one basic cheeseburger on the menu. Want a single patty? Nope. They only come with two. You can add an array of exotic ingredients, from pulled pork to a gooey four-cheese sauce with bacon, to the base burger, called, appropriately, the Mataleón.

But who needs all that excess baggage on a burger? The base burger has everything you need. Two patties, two slices of melted cheese, a slather of “special sauce”, lettuce, tomatoes and spoonful of caramelized onions. Great Caesar’s Ghost! Why would you need to add anything to that list of ingredients? That cheeseburger will run you about 90 pesos (US$4.75). French fries, will run you about 40 pesos (US$4) more.

The bun isn’t the “trendy” brioche we see at most restaurants, with egg-wash and sesame seeds. It’s the sort of wrinkled, ugly, red-headed stepsister to brioche, the potato bun. Perfect for this renegade burger. Now, it’s not a really big burger. But it makes up for that with lots of personality. That thick bottom slice of bun needed to be firm to hold all that meaty, cheesy burger together. And it did a good job of that. All the way down to the final bite.

(Proviso: In accordance with modern-day burger-restaurant decorum they also offer a veggie-burger and an incorrectly named “chicken” burger. Be forewarned. Don’t let a Texan see you eatin’ a “chicken” burger. He might kick your ass.)

The fries? Lots of skin still lingering. Some cut thick. Some thin. Obviously, hand cut. They were perfect. The big slices were creamy inside, crispy outside. The thin slices were a bit chewy. It just added interest to entire bowl of fries. Did I say bowl? That’s right. No red plastic basket lined with plastic paper at Mataleón! They serve the fries in a dog dish. That’s right. Just like the dish you use for serving Purina dog chow to Rover. You expected something different from Mataleón? And the homemade catsup was sweet and addictive. It was seriously good. I want that recipe!

Despite the counter-culture personality and total lack of décor, this place is strangely appealing. And the burger, fries and service are top-notch.

It’s hard to rate ambiance on a place like this. I would typically give a dive like this somewhere between 2.5 and 3.5 stars. But I gave an extra point for the half-clad Barbie doll.

This dive, my friends, is a true burger joint.