Heisenburger

Heisenburger is yet another burger joint in Buenos Aires joining a long list of restaurant attempting to capitalize on the seemingly insatiable urge of Latinos to eat burgers, in every shape, size and flavor. There are now locations in Las Cañitas and Palermo Hollywood.

Both locations are spacious venues with quirky counter-culture décor which, like burgers, seems to be the craze in this part of the world. Sort of a Latin American attempt at being “hipster”. They’re smart enough to use chalkboards so they can easily change the prices of the expensive burgers with ease. The Tijuana, offered in late 2015 for 80 pesos was running about $120 in mid-2017. Scientific proof that Buenos Aires is, in fact, experiencing 25% inflation per year. But still priced considerably below a Big Mac in Manhattan.

Both locations are crowded at peak hours which, of course, affects the quality of the product their selling.

Heisenburger falls into our fast-casual category of dining experience. No table service. You order at the counter and wait with the rest of the cattle and sheep for your order to be called. They don’t even provide shepherds or gauchos to keep the herd from running amok.

And because they’re churning out burgers at breakneck speed, you tend to get platters of burgers and fries that are sort of “thrown out” on the counter. It’s as if they’re purposely trying to mimic the horrible experience at Burger Joint in Palermo Soho. They won’t win any awards for presentation or ambiance, that’s for sure.

But if you’re willing to tolerate a moderate wait of 20 minutes or more, the burger you get won’t be bad. I’ve read consumer reviews complaining that the burgers are “heavy” and sometime “greasy”. Which of course raises the question, “Isn’t that how burgers are supposed to be?”

My advice? If you don’t want a greasy burger, go eat yogurt and fruit across the street at Jolie Bistro.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that the burgers here, although nowhere close to the quality of a few other restaurants we’ve visited, are pretty good. And they offer fries with a heap of chili-and-beans on top for ex-pats missing Home-Sweet-Texas.

I personally will not endure this type of mayhem at this price. I prefer to sit and talk and enjoy my burger when I’m dining out. Perhaps flirt with a waitress and order a dessert after I finish the meal if I feel the urge (without having to stand in line for another 15 minutes to get a dip of ice cream). Am painting the picture vividly enough?